Thank you to all who have submitted questions so far, we have been encouraged to have received a number of thought-provoking questions! To start off this series, Pastor Jim shares his wisdom on two questions concerning friendship and career.

Foreword from Jim

The main purpose of answering these questions are not to pretend I know everything, or even more than another person. Nor is supplying knowledge base my priority #1. Rather, it is to shepherd the members and friends of Harbour City Church, and to interact with our community with the Word of God and biblical worldview. It is to build up our church onto maturity, and fellowship in the Holy Spirit.
As much as I can, I will point you to various other resources that are reliable and more thorough than I can cover in these rather short replies.
Some questions will merit biblical “apologetics”, but hopefully it won’t be seen as being “defensive.” If that’s how I seem to come off, please privately and lovingly rebuke me. I promise to listen.
And for the purpose of interacting with as many topics as possible and the individuals asking, I must try to be brief. So, obviously, the answers will not be exhaustive, or touching on every point. However, please feel free to reach out to ask follow-up questions.

Question 1.

If I have a friend that claims to be Christian although their lifestyle may suggest otherwise, is it unloving of me to rebuke them if I know they won't handle it well, or is it more unloving of me to not say anything and just pray about it?

First, I might steer you away from wanting to simply rebuke. And from the way you framed this question and included the clause “I know they won't handle it well”, I would advise both caution and encouragement. When [Ephesians 4:15] says, “speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ,” it’s important to note the operative phrase is “truth in love.” Meaning, if either the truth or the love is compromised, then so is the entire effort to build-up or grow-up one another. The caution is to consider why your friend won’t “handle it well.” Is it because of his/her immaturity, or is it because he/she is doubtful of your loving intent? The encouragement is to equip yourself first in combining both love and truth, and deliver it in such a way where your friend hears the truth he/she needs, but also you leave them with little doubt that you truly love him/her. Only the Spirit of God will change a person’s heart, but He may use your loving testimony; so, you can never be sure that they “won’t handle it well.” You might be pleasantly surprised!

In addition, instead of hitting someone over the head with Bible verses, I would have those appropriate passages memorized in paraphrased form, so you can casually work them into the conversation; and you will know deep inside that you’re not merely stating your personal opinions, but speaking out of God’s truth. Also, in some cases, if you feel there is someone else who may be more available and effective due to closer relationship or such, involving them instead might not be a bad idea while you continue to keep your friend in active prayer.

Question 2.

How do I know if I have been called into a certain field of work or ministry?

God’s prescribed or dispositional will can be gleaned directly from the Scriptures. However, not all of God’s sovereign will, including directions about every matter in life, can be gathered from the Bible. Apostle John said, “there are also many other things that Jesus did. Were every one of them to be written, I suppose that the world itself could not contain the books that would be written.” [John 21:25]

However, to help clarify the matter of “calling” in particular, the church has long advised that you discern the two areas of “internal calling” and “external calling.”

Internal Calling is the inward desire and burden of the heart brought on by the urging of the Holy Spirit. We can discern this by asking certain self-diagnosing questions like: “How does this glorify God, and not simply gratify my personal desire?” “How does this reflect obedience to God’s direct commandments, honor His wishes, and delight His heart?” “How does this help God’s people (the church), even at my own personal cost?”
External Calling is the affirmation of the relevant people and circumstances. This can be discerned by asking other wise and godly brothers and sisters for their assessment, and taking inventory of one’s own objective assessment of personal set of gifts that may be suited for the task. Of course, the “doors” of opportunity must be opening up for you by those in appropriate power and positions.

If you find that the internal and external callings are lining up in ways that are possible and encouraging, you might say it is reasonable to proceed.

If you have ever wondered about topics such as these, are curious about the how’s and why’s of Christianity or have any other questions in general ask Pastor Jim anything here.